I have been completely neglectful to my poor blog. It’s not because I have nothing to say but more or less that I haven’t had a spare moment this week AND I don’t have Internet at home yet which is driving me crazy. I’ve never been more thankful for my Blackberry!
If I knew where to start, writing would be easy but I have had such a crazy week that I don’t know how to sum it all up. First and foremost, I started my new job last Tuesday. I did 3, 10 hour overnight shifts and two weekend shifts this week. Needless to say, I’m exhausted and would really benefit from a few days off in a row! I have learned a lot this week and really do like my trainer, Kimalee. She’s a nice girl and tremendously intelligent. I think she’s used to people thinking she’s a bit too hard on them but I enjoy her methods mostly. I will say she’s no Aubrey but the two of us had one of those “cosmic” connections. My first few days were really hard and I did cry a bit.
My ride to work is about 20 miles each way. Austin drivers are the scariest bunch I’ve ever had the displeasure of riding amongst. I’ve had 2 very close calls in the past week and I don’t know how I didn’t lay the bike down. I’m lucky to be such a mellow rider I suppose. Either that or those angels Mom is always talking about really do exist. Regardless, someone is watching over me. Ollie doesn’t like Austin very well. He’s been running just awful lately and to top it off, he had to be towed home on Saturday night. I was feeling quite defeated by the time I got home. Not even Kirby Land queso made me feel better even though Chad was sure it would. Some new clutch parts from ASC on Tuesday and Ollie should be back to himself sooner or later. I’m VERY thankful that Anik is letting me use her van. I’m not sure what I’d do otherwise.
I’ve been out with a few different guys and have had a nice time each time. I’m scheduled to go out with a potentially really awesome guy on Wednesday. Apparently we’re going roller skating or something fun like that. I usually stay away from the meat market that is Craigslist but from time to time I will browse the ads or even place one with the hope I’d make contact with a fairly decent human being. I just happened to respond to an ad that was absolutely hilarious. Turns out he’s a HUGE Lucero fan (you all KNOW how much I LOVE Lucero)!! He also prefers PBR to Lone Star. We seem to share a lot of the same feelings and are both really passionate. Talking to him kind of freaks me out a little because I haven’t clicked with someone on that level since…….well, never mind (no, NOT Derek).
Derek really is a small dark spot in what feels like my distant past even though March wasn’t that long ago. I wish I could have skipped all that heartbreak that I felt and just feel as I do now. And how is that you may ask? Well, I feel angry and a bit bitter that he treated me the way he did. I am also very thankful that he ended it with me as he knew (and he said it) that he was holding me back from being the best I could be. It sucks when someone feel s so low about themselves that they know they are suppressing the greatness in their partner. That must be tough to live with. He’ll have a lifetime of pain if he doesn’t learn to deal with his emotions and dysfunctions soon. I won’t lie though, the nice person in me just wants him to be happy even though I kind of want to skull fuck him really hard. Ok, enough angsty Millie.
I am missing Chicago. I miss Monday nights with Katherine and sometimes Eli and Vee. I miss eating Orbit Room’s $4 “burger” under my tree with my scooter buddies. I miss Aubrey, Darryl, Amber and Virginia on my Wednesday overnight. I miss Thursday at CVES and all the dancing and bubble tea. I miss knowing that Mom and Dad are a 45 minute train ride away. I miss the familiar comforts of a home that I occupied for 30 years. I miss Lori, Katherine and Boo Boo. I miss the 1703 camp. I miss the Chicago skyline, potholes and, I never thought I’d say it, public transit. I miss Club Foot and drinking Douche Bags with the boys at Midnight and I miss Durso, my best friend forever more than my heart will even allow me to feel. I want to hug him again and tell him about my day. I want to be able to call him to come fix my scooter, eat Italian Ice, Sushi and ride our scooters.
I think of the long list of things I miss and realize how much I too them for granted. They were right there within reaching distance and now I long for them as if I’ll never experience any of them again. And while I know I will, I just want them all to be right here with me in my new adventure. I’m happy, just a little homesick.
That’s all for now.
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