I've learned a lot in the past week. A lot about my job, a lot about myself and about the people in my life. I'm coming to grips with certain things that are out of my control. Talk about being vague, huh? Not everything is meant for the eyes of the public. Even as open as I am, I have my secrets too.
Veterinary math is becoming a bit more easy. Math has never ever been my strong point so having to use it everyday is a bit scary for me. It's so important not to fuck up you numbers because a patent's life is at stake. Nick (Nicky) at work has been really helpful and kind in his own way. He sat with me and helped me figure out a Fentanyl CRI. I get really stressed when I'm put on the spot and expected to do math. I get hot, sweaty and light headed. I'm afraid people are going to think I'm stupid. Funny enough though, I'm humble enough to allow myself that feeling. I have a great deal of humility even though I'm kind of cocky at times.
On a heavier note, I got a call from Katherine last night. I could hear in her voice that she wasn't ok. She reminded me of that cyst on her ovary from a few years ago and how it has now gotten bigger. It is now the size of a grapefruit and pushing on her abdomen. She has to have an emergency OHE and will be in the hospital for 3 days. Worse yet, they fear it may be cancer. I can't put in to words what this woman means to me. She has been so good to me over the years and saw me through some of my worst moments. She finally found her happiness too. She's out of her terrible marriage and with a man who really respects and loves her, accepted into the Rush Nursing Program and her whole life is starting again! Now this? Fuck this.
I chose to be here and now I'm here. No regrets but I sure wish I could be there for my friend in her greatest time of need.
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