Pleasantly Surprised

So my weekend off is coming to a close and I have had a frickin' blast. The past 3 days have been exceptionally fun.

I met a new friend that I've been exploring some of Austin's beauty with. We seem to have a ton in common and laugh a whole lot when we're together. We both like nature, watching stars, being in the water and so much else. Regardless of any relationship that may come of it, I know we're going to be great friends. He's kind, funny and good to animals (and isn't a meat eater which I find so hot). I can't remember laughing as hard as I did the last few days in a long time except with Darren in Dallas. I'm super anxious to continue building a friendship with this person. Friendship is what should come first. The rest may come with time and if not, I'll be happy just to have him around. His company is a pleasant surprise.

Bull Creek is absolutely lovely. Over the course of 3 days, we hiked the entire trail. We dicked around a lot and he fell in the water at least once each day. The first few times I didn't laugh but today I did. Yesterday we Gracie tagged along with us. She seemed to have an enjoyable time swimming, sniffing and exploring the trails. I'll be bringing her with me on more hikes soon!

Tonight was spent drinking a few PBRs, watching movies and making Vegan pizza. Seriously, everything we do together is freakin' perfect. It's kind of scary. We'll see.

A Little Blue After Visiting Gruene Hall

OMFG, last night may have been one of the weirdest nights I've had since moving to Austin nearly 5 months ago. I was in a somewhat pissy, shit mood all day. It was the anniversary of Jim and it really snuck up on my this year. I shopped for cowgirl boots and found a pair I love except I couldn't afford them. I put them on hold and will pick them up on Thursday before I head to work.

After shopping and going out to Westlake to buy dog food, I met up with David Goggles. I drank a few pink lemonaide/Sprites and went home to pass out for a few hours. I got to Ginny's about 10:30 ish, which is normal, and began drinking. Chad showed up, we danced and listened to Arty Hill when Anik joined us. Joe was also there being weird and telling everyone he loved them. Don't get me started. Shortly after Arty ended, we went to Horseshoe. I didn't stay long.

Details of the events after leaving Horseshoe are not for blogging but wow.....weird night is all I can say.

I got home to find Chad "making out" with Jarobie and feeding her pizza. She really likes him a lot. I ate some weird combo of a garden burger and hummus and passed out. We woke up at 11 ish and I felt how much fun I had the night before. Our drive to Gruene felt somewhat short. Gary Claxton was great and Cindy Cashdollar was on steel! I was really expecting lots of dancing and fun at Gruene Hall. I was wrong. Anik and I danced, Chad and Anik danced and Chad and I danced. We ran in to the gal from London and she gave me some Tylenol.

The drive home felt longer than the drive down. I took a nap and now I'm here blogging. I'm uncertain where to go tonight. Part of me really wants to go to Ginny's to see Terri Joyce but the dance floor and lack of dance partners there is kinda sad. On the other hand, Dale is playing The Spoke and I'd most likely end up there alone. I'm sure I'd have many dance partners though. It costs too much to drink at The Spoke so I guess I'll be going to Ginny's. Problem solved.

Discovery: I LOVE to DANCE!

A quickie before I have to jump up, shower and run out the door to work.

I just wanted to write how much I love dancing. When I came to visit Chad here in April, his then girlfirend, Anik, drug me out on the dance floor at Ginny's to dance to Johnny Falstaff. The band was awesome and that song was a fairly quick polka type song. I had NO idea what I was doing but I picked it up fairly quick. Later, that same night, Joe asked me to dance with him and he was so super cute and charming, I couldn't have said no. The steps were so simple yet I couldn't manage to not step on his feet.

My ability to two step (and waltz, even though I'll never admit I like the waltz) have gotten pretty darn good! After a slight argument with Chad a few months ago about my "inability" to dance, I've become a MUCH better follower. I can take cues from my partner and really move around the floor with ease. I'm to the point now where I'll dance with any guy because I know that I can. I now get what I fondly call "dancing crushes" on any guy who can lead me around the floor and make me feel awesome. I pretty much crush on someone once a week if not more.

My latest dancing crush was a guy I met a few weeks at at CC for Dale Watson. He was a lovely dancer and made me smile a lot. He could dip me all the way down to the ground and spin me so perfectly every time. I had the pleasure of dancing with him on Monday night again. We both agreed that neither of us have had that much fun dancing in a long time! CC is popular for out of town folks (once upon a time ME)! This group of ladies were asking Kevin and I if we were in a dance club. I explained I had just met him the week before and that we were not in a club. They were shocked. "You've only danced with him ONE other time before this and you guys dance so well?" I was absolutely flattered and explained it was pretty much all in his ability to lead and my ability to follow and take cues. Out of towners thought I was a great dancer!!!!

I'm also to the point where I don't mind showing off a little bit. I smile a lot more and really shake my booty! Before I was so focused on not stepping on my partner's toes and keeping the beat and now I'm focused on not making faces (like concentrating really hard)! I'm off all weekend and I have plans to visit Texas's oldest dance hall, Gruene Hall! Gary Claxton is playing. I can not WAIT to dance there! Saturday night is Dale or Terri, I haven't decided. Sunday is Dale at Ginnys then Lucas at Mean Eyed Cat and Heybale! at CC! I have a full weekend and lots of liver Olympics ahead of me!

Now in the shower and out the door! There are animals who need fixin'!

My Brain Quit Half Way Through This Blog Post.

I've managed to waste an entire day off in bed. Sometimes, I just can't get up. My job kicks my ass. Of course, I work overnight tomorrow so my body may just be trying to get me on THAT schedule. Who the hell knows.

September has flown by. It seems like just last week Ronny and I were planning our weekend trip to Port A and now we're pretty much over. I like him so much and did see him a few times this week. The first time was at his house where we pretty much didn't talk a whole lot. We just lay on the couch and hugged. It was so nice. He continues to ask me what he can do to change and I continue to tell him it doesn't work that way. We both cried a lot again. He wants to be different for me but I just feel funny about that.

I'm not sure what I'll be doing with my weekend off this week but it looks like a good slew of music is on the horizon. With luck, I'll get to dance a lot. I have so much to write but lost my steam. I'll post again later this week.

Random Jibber Jabber

I slept so poorly last night. I tossed and turned all night. I kept thinking about Ronny and, for some reason, the song Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots by The Flaming Lips. Maybe that's not even the name of the song but it's about a gal named Yoshimi training so she can "beat those evil machines." Yeah. Anyways, I am super stressed out about how things are going and part of me just wants it all to be over now. The other part of me still wants to try to work things out with him. I just have so many issues with his life that I don't know that it is going to be possible.

I'm looking forward to getting my hair cut tonight and really hope my plans to do so don't fall through. I'll be super bummed out. I really work myself up for hair cuts ever since I lost contact with Jessie James. She cut my hair better than anyone I've ever met! It always looked so "fierce" as she called it. I could just wash it and wear it or do it up with the flat iron, either way, it always looked awesome. I tend to get a lot of compliments on my hair. Anyways, I'm taking a big chance with a new stylist here in Austin (Round Rock actually). We'll see if he can keep our scheduled time. I do have to be honest though, I won't be shocked if he cancels, he's pretty good at that.

What else is there to report? OOhhhh.....I made my first car payment today! Now I know that doesn't seem like the biggest deal but to me it is! This is my chance to fix my credit and I'm taking no chances. The payment isn't due for at least 2 weeks but early payments must count for something, right? If not, I can rest assured in my head that I'm ahead of the game!!

The end for now.

Full Speed Ahead Until I Die!

I really want to write a book about my 20's. I keep thinking about them and how much I went through. I will stand by my statement that a woman's 20's are among the hardest years of her life. Not only does life change so much, your body changes too. I'm not just talking physical appearance but mental health changes as well.

Everyone is encouraging me to write this book but I have no idea where to begin. I really would need to get in touch with my past and the people that were in it to remind me of the details of my very rocky 20's. Past boyfriends, friends, co-workers, roommates and so on would need to be interviewed to remind me. I'm not 100% sure I'm up for that though. It could do more harm than good. I agreed that once I turned 30, nothing would hold me back. I started planting seeds that I am now starting to watch grow and blossom. I'm right around the corner from my 31st birthday and I feel that I did A LOT in the first year of my 30's. Granted I had a few rough spots, mainly the break up with Derek, but I didn't allow it to ruin me.

I still think about Derek several times a week and wonder how he's doing and what he's doing. I've had a few urges to text message him but have resisted thus far. It wouldn't be productive to my "looking forward" mentality. I do reflect on our relationship a lot and I know that in my heart it was never going to work out even though I loved him with my whole heart. I'm facing a similar situation right now. Ronny and I have been dating for a few months now and we hit it off really well. I like him a lot and even love parts of him. I can't say I love him like I loved Derek though. I don't know that I ever will feel that way about another human being again. There are so many things wrong with mine and Ronny's relationship but I don't know how to begin to put it in to words. Fuck, I know this is going to end sad/bad but I want him in my life. Right now I think he has a lot on his plate to deal with that he isn't because he doesn't see how serious it is. I don't know that he ever will.

So that's where I'm at. A bit ouchy in the heart and trying my best to not hurt anyone on my path to becoming a better Millie. I've agreed that my life in Austin is going to be the best that I can make it. There are no regrets, there is no looking back at what could be. I'm here in the moment and I'm going to be full speed ahead until I die (and yes, that IS what I'm going to call my book).

Gateway?

Sometimes I wonder what to write when I feel like writing in my blog. One would think that if I wanted to write, then I should know what to write about. I have moments during my days where I think to myself, "I should remember this and write about it later." I need to start entering little moments in my Blackberry so I can go back and trigger myself to write.

I continue to wonder who on earth reads my blogs. I know Gail with the farm does and my momma in Chicago but beyond that, who cares about my weekly ramblings? Anyone? I'm so curious if there are regular readers to my blog that don't know me and have taken an interest in my life. The Internet is a strange and powerful tool, is it not?

Soooo. I'm going on day 4 of my 6 day, 60 hour stretch at the ER. Last night was absolutely insane. Laura, Ross and I were on alone until 10 when our overnighters, Nick and Jeff came on. I must say, as busy as we were, the stress level maintained itself at a minimum. The energy at the South clinic is amazingly awesome. I'm so proud to work there and work with an exceptional group of techs and doctors. Tree paid me a nice compliment the other day. She said she was happy I was part of their team and I was a great fit. Talk about feeling great about yourself and what you're doing, huh? I think highly of Tree. She's a wonderful, Earth-loving woman with a kind soul and big heart.

I got an interesting text from an unexpected yesterday. We'll see how that works out. I can always use another friend. It looks like that roller skating I had talked about a few months ago may happen this Tuesday. I'm anxious to see. Darren and Selena AND their Vespas will be here on Thursday and I couldn't be more excited! I have to map out a plan of attack on Austin so I can show them all the best places.

I also wanted to mention something private. I mean not super private but something I do everyday when I come home at night. It has become a bit of a routine. My apartment complex is super cool. It's painted fun colors and is very diverse. I live on the second floor of a two story building. The entrance to each apartment is outdoors. Climbing the stairs every night, I get excited to see if they are there. By they, I mean my house geckos. Driving home from work, I think about them. I get excited in hopes that they are there and that I'll get to view them for a split second prior to going inside to get the dogs for their nightly potty. Last night there were several! They were on the walls and on the ceiling. I'm not sure why they excite me so much but they do. I guess I really shouldn't be shocked that something so small makes me happy. I've always said, "It's the little things." I think some people should take a lesson from me and start loving the small things. I think it is a gateway to loving greater and more deeply. Just a thought.

Time Together Tells Much and Weekend Off Update

I'm sad my five days off have come to a close. I go back to work tonight and will be on for the next six days. Not only will I be on 2 days longer this week than I normally am, each is a ten hour shift and it's a holiday weekend. I remember last year in Chicago, we had THE busiest day I've ever seen in our ER. I pray to God it isn't the same here in Austin.

Dallas was fun and relaxing. It was amazing to see Darren and Selena. I miss them both so much. I miss having friends like them. We spent the day in downtown Dallas riding a free trolley and eating gellato. Darren and I joked a whole bunch and it was just like old times, we didn't miss a frickin' beat! The drive up wasn't too bad and totally worth the sore ass I had once I got to the hotel. The night was spent relaxing in the pool and napping. I had a hell of a headache that night and retired earlyish to bed. I woke at 12 AM and realized I was on my own. I went to Waffle House and had the worst strawberry waffle ever. The grits were good as was the Red Bull I smuggled in and drank with my meal. Saying goodbye wasn't as hard as it was the last time but I got a bit teary once I closed my hotel room door. I know I'll see them both next week here in my beloved Austin. I have to come up with some kind of plan to show them the best of Austin! Details on that to come.

Saturday Afternoon, I picked Ronny up on my way back home. We took a nap and decided to go to Ginny's to see Johnny Falstaff for a little while. I wanted to stay longer but it was his birthday and he wanted to go to his bar, Baby Blues, for a little while and see his friends. We got home pretty early as we knew we had a long, long drive ahead of us on Sunday.

Sunday was fun. We got up about 10 ish and I was feeling groggy and sick. I will credit early morning and lack of Red Bull for this feeling. It passed and we were on our way to Port Aransas for a fun in the sun filled two days. I enjoyed the drive down. It was very scenic. I made it a point to avoid the major highways since I believe in the saying, "Getting there is half the fun." I tortured Ron with 1st Wave on XM radio and I'm pretty sure he won't be wanting to road trip with me again anytime soon. We were able to, however, compromise on a half assed punk station. They played some Rancid, Anti-Flag and then crapped out and played some rap shit that we both agreed sucked balls.

I didn't make a reservation at our destination with the intention of just walking in to a place. We found the beach, which you can DRIVE ON and I couldn't have been more excited. Actually, the whole drive down I was squealing at this or that. Ron just sat there. It was almost a slap in the face. His lack of excitement for the little things worries me. I feel like he has such little emotion for life and this became very obvious on our trip. I'm having second thoughts about continuing our relationship. It's been a rough 24 hours. Granted, we've only been seeing each other for a little under two months, we hit it off and things went kind of quick. I'm scared of hurting his heart but know in the end I must be true to my feelings.

Our last Morning in Port A sucked. We had a bit of an argument the night before which resulted in tears (his and mine). I woke early to vacuum and wash the car. I tried to leave him sleeping but he wanted to go with me. It was an awkward Morning. I asked him if he wanted to eat breakfast and he did. Part way through our meal, he turned green. He went outside as I paid and I found him amongst a pool of vomit. He continued to vomit for a few minutes and worry set in. We had to check out of the hotel in 30 minutes! I figured a late check out wouldn't be an issue since we were the ONLY people staying at The Blue Crab Inn. Wrong. The lady said, "We charge $10 an hour for late check outs." I was angry about that but had no choice. Ron was sick and he couldn't bear a 4 hour car ride in his condition.

The nausea, stomach cramps and headache subsided enough for us to get on the road by 1:30 which was two and a half hours later than I had wanted to head back to Austin. Regardless, I felt terrible for Ron and did everything I could to keep him comfortable and happy. Of course, I find myself doing this when he's not sick too. I have a lot to think about this week. With luck, this will all work itself out and no one will be hurt (too badly). I know my head is just a mess over the whole damn thing.

It's laundry time.