Hatred for Packing, Endoscopes and High-Fives!

I hate the act of moving. There's so much shit to do just for an "in town" move never mind moving 1,000 miles away. Regardless, I know what must be done and I'm throwing so much shit away. I will be getting under my bed in a few short hours to tear through the shit that is in there. I haven't looked at any of that stuff in 3 years. I'm almost afraid to open boxes and start sifting through the old memories.

I've been really emotional the past few days. I cried 3 times at work yesterday alone. I'm going to miss my peers and my job at CVES. Even the few folks there that I don't' really like aren't THAT bad. Last night reconfirmed that for me. There was a kitty who thought it would be a good idea to eat a needle and thread like so many silly cats do. We spent an hour fishing though this cat's belly with an endoscope looking for the needle so we didn't have to cut him. The DVM worked the focus and direction, I controlled the in and out of the stomach and Andrea controlled "The Pinchers of Peril" as she called them to reach in and grab the needle. It took endless tries and everytime we saw the needle, we'd scream and squeal with excitement! After so many tries, Andrea's Pinchers of Peril got the needle (so we thought). As I pulled the camera end of the scope from the cats esophagus, we only saw a thread but no needle!!! Andrea advanced the "Pinchers" and there it was!!!! We all cheered and high fived each other, some of us even hugged.

So you can see, with moments like that why I'd feel sad about leaving such an awesome hospital. I pray my next place is half as good as CVES.

Like Legos Fitting Together!

Seriously, I'm in utter shock that this is happening to me. EVERYTHING is falling into place just as it is supposed to! I've been sweating every detail of my move and worrying endlessly about if I'll do it right....on and on.

TODAY I got a call from a 24 hour emergency hospital located right near my new apartment in East Austin. I had sent my resume there two time over the past month or so and had not gotten a response. I was starting to worry that they were never going to call! The conversation went very well and I have an interview set up for a few hours after I get off the plane!! I couldn't be more please with how well things are going. This MUST be fate or something like it. Everything is pointing to positive and to me getting to Austin and thriving. I couldn't be more excited!!

So now my focus is figuring out a date. I think the move is going to be between May 18th and the 20th. This will give me enough time to get there before the weekend and unpack my things. I can't wait to see the place I agreed to move in to. From what I hear it is lovely and HUGE! Cement floors, stainless steel counter tops and 17' vaulted ceilings were some of the selling points. Let's not forget the POOL and palm trees too!! I wish May 7th would hurry up and get there already! I have to get through the next two weeks and have A LOT of packing to do. Tomorrow I will start throwing things away. I'm not second guessing shit either. If I have any doubts, its going in the garbage! Amen!

It's Really Happening!

Well kids, it's official. I'm moving to Austin!! I found a super cool apartment that will be ready to take me in as soon as May 15th. It seems as if everything is starting to take shape and fall in to place. Potential jobs are calling and I'm pretty sure the trip has the funds it needs to happen!

It does sadden me though now that it is becoming real. I had to make some tough decisions and one of them was selling my beloved P200, Axl Rose. I love that damn bike but the gal who is buying it is worthy of his greatness. Axl couldn't have gone to a better home. Selena is going to love him and ride him as much as I did. Even better, he'll "stay in the family." I know it's rather silly to think of a scooter as a family member but this scooter changed my life. I met my current friends all thanks to this simple 30 year old machine. And when I say changed my life, I mean made it better, got me out of a rut and got me to where I am now. ON MY WAY TO AUSTIN!

THIS IS THE MOMENT I KNEW.....

It was this moment captured in this picture that I knew I was in love with Austin. My first day there and Chad took me to this beautiful river where we lounged on big flat rocks. The sun was so hot and Chad was on "turtle patrol" as I had my bare feet in the water. This was one of those perfect moments in life where you stop and say, "This is a perfect moment." If I could live that forever, I'd die today.

This is what HAPPY Looks Like

Honestly. Look at this picture and tell me you don't see peace and happiness in my eyes.

Ok, ok, so the picture is a little small! Trust me, I remember how peaceful I felt when Chad took this picture. That smile was so natural. There I was, waiting for the bats on the Congress Street Bridge totally in touch with how wonderful I can really feel. And THAT is why I'm moving.

I truly felt it in Austin. I went there to heal a very broken heart and came back with a whole new perspective on what I want in my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not miserable by any means but I've been feeling as if I'm in a rut. I've felt it for a while now. It's not because I don't love Chicago, it's not because Derek broke up with me or even because I don't like my job. It's actually quite the opposite. I love my job. I mean, LOVE where I work, love the people and helping the animals. I'm going to miss the fuck out of my first emergency veterianry hospital but know that where ever I may end up, I'm going to be just fine.

Thanks to my ever supportive mother, I'm flying to Austin on May 7th for a few job interviews, to get a Texas license and find an apartment. I'm so excited yet so nervous for what is to come. I have been so stressed about how I'm going to get to Texas when all of a sudden an answer to my prayers has come. I put a ride share up on craigslist in the off chance I could find someone to drive Keeper, Gracie, Jarobie and I to Austin and an angel may have been sent my way! A 32 year old woman and her children are relocating 100 miles outside of Austin and are interested in taking us with them! I couldn't be more thrilled. I'm going to start packing my things in the next week and getting them into storage. I'm pretty sure I'm going to pay $100 per month for a storage space until I'm more stable in Texas at which time I'll send a mover for my things. I think this is all shaping up just fine. Now all I need is a job!!

I've gotten letters of recommendation from two doctors and the technician who trained me. They are very flattering letters and it further proves how well liked I am and that I'll be a success anywhere I go. I'm humble when it counts and my mind is open to learn anything anyone wants to teach me. I think that's why I've come so far in my 30 years. Well that, and that I have an amazingly supportive family and group of friends. I'm really a lucky girl. I'm so blessed and promise to continue to strive to be the best in what I do no matter what the circumstances.

Mom Told Me to Follow my Heart.

I have so much to write. I have so much on my mind. It's too bad I have to work in 30 minutes.

I've done some serious soul searching and have come to some conclusions. I have to talk to a few people but from what it seems like right now, I am longing to be somewhere other than Chicago.

This is one of the most stressful things I've thought about in a long, long time.

More to come.

Time to Plan the Going Away Party??

All I can say is wow. And I don't mean World of Warcraft! The last several days in Austin have been amazingly fun, relaxing and EYE OPENING. I understand the there is no "escaping" your problems but I've been sad for a long, long time. Maybe not as sad as I've been in past years but just dull and in need of something new. I think Austin could be it.

I've enjoyed so much in such a short amount of time here that I get teary eyed thinking about going home. I've always been excited to get back to Chicago. It is my home. It's what is familiar and what I know. My life is there. That could be the problem. I'm too damn comfortable with the day to day that I had NO idea what I've been missing. I'm realistic about a move though. I understand that scenery changes, problems to not. I don't feel that I'm running away though. I feel like this could be a whole new life and a way to live. I adore the weather, the scenery and all of the music/dancing. Heck, I can almost two-step! The energy here is like none I've ever felt.

I have some soul searching to do but I feel like now is the time to make my move. This is what I've been waiting for! Before I met Derek, I was thinking about moving to Portland or Colorado. I've put my plans on hold before but not this time. Not ever again. Being here makes me realize how sad my life has been and how wonderful and full of life it could be. My mom gave the best advice yesterday. She said, "Follow your heart and start sending out your resume."

I'm doing just that.

More from my trip when I get home tomorrow!

Matters of the Heart

I picked up a shift last night in order to make up for the hours I'm going to miss this weekend while I'm in Austin. I'm so excited to see my friend Chad and bask in the warm Austin sun!

The last two weeks have been so frickin' hard though. I can't pretend that I'm 100% ok but I'm getting there. I had beer, just one, with a few gals from work last night as Keeper was recovering from her anesthetic. Liz tried to convince me that he does love me but I question it. I really thought things were going so well. Granted, we had some ups and downs, there's nothing I did to make him not love me. I know in my heart there is something bigger going on in his life right now. No matter what it is, I would have stood by him. It's hard to figure out your life sometimes especially when you're so creative (like him).

Anyways, Liz told me I should go after him. I can't bring myself to do it though. I love him but I'm at a point where I know I have to leave him alone. I've made no effort to talk to him or contact him out of respect for what he wants and for what is best for my heart. I hope with time, I'll get an answer but until then, I'm forcing my heart to truck on.