I picked up a shift last night in order to make up for the hours I'm going to miss this weekend while I'm in Austin. I'm so excited to see my friend Chad and bask in the warm Austin sun!
The last two weeks have been so frickin' hard though. I can't pretend that I'm 100% ok but I'm getting there. I had beer, just one, with a few gals from work last night as Keeper was recovering from her anesthetic. Liz tried to convince me that he does love me but I question it. I really thought things were going so well. Granted, we had some ups and downs, there's nothing I did to make him not love me. I know in my heart there is something bigger going on in his life right now. No matter what it is, I would have stood by him. It's hard to figure out your life sometimes especially when you're so creative (like him).
Anyways, Liz told me I should go after him. I can't bring myself to do it though. I love him but I'm at a point where I know I have to leave him alone. I've made no effort to talk to him or contact him out of respect for what he wants and for what is best for my heart. I hope with time, I'll get an answer but until then, I'm forcing my heart to truck on.
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