So as many know, I've been flying high. I ended my 5 days off by floating the river with Devin and Andy today and dancing to Johnny Falstaff and Mike and The Moonpies. Seriously, it was a perfect end to a really, really fun few days. Of course there is a catch.....
As I was having some Jarobie cuddle time, my phone went off. I was thinking, "Who would be sending me messages this late?" Really, it could have been any number of people but I wasn't expecting him. Yeah. So I looked in the mirror as I was taking out my contacts and said, "Millie, you are what you do when it counts." While his message was actually very sweet and personal, I've experienced that before. It's all sweet, sweet, sweet and then he flops like a fish and becomes a person I don't know and actually really dislike. I then quickly texted my "soul sister" and was freaking out for a split second. It was kind of a collected freak out, not an all out shit fit.
Her advice was turn off the phone. I didn't do that. I just didn't respond. I want to. I want to say a lot of things to him but I know that it is what soul sister calls the death spiral. When I kissed her goodnight just a few minutes ago, she said, "Remember, girl, you are strong." "Look at how happy and beautiful you are and where you're going." I reminded her that I knew I was strong and that I'm busy soaring. I'm an eagle, damn it! I'M AN EAGLE.
I'm kind of sorry I didn't respond to him because the kind, not selfish person in me want to reassure him he'll be fine without me. I just can't be with a man like him.
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